karl-melvin

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On the day we interviewed for the podcast Karl reminded me it was 8 years to that exact day I had given the job offer to Karl for the software developer position in FBD. At the time Karl had been made redundant from Lexmark and was looking for a new challenge, I had just become a hands-on recruiter when we met. Redundancy for some people can be bitter pill to swallow but for others like Karl it was something to be embraced.

For those that dont know Karl he is a Dublin Based Psychotherapist and Professional speaker on mental health and improving relationships. I had asked Karl to come and interview for my podcast as I had noticed the change in profession Karl had recently made by reading his blog www.toxicescape.com and some of his publications in the Irish Independent and The Journal.ie.  It’s not every day a software developer with 17 years experience becomes a psychotherapist and Front Row speaker. I was quite interested in how he went on that journey and the learns he had.

I wasn’t disappointed Karl’s story was very real, extremely honest and very uplifting. I found myself and Karl got on very quickly and we had a lot in common. Our views on mental health, exercise, journaling, gratitude and giving back overlapped.

Both big fans on becoming the best possible version of ourselves and have a thirst for information.

In the interview which can be found on podcast or youtube we discussed

  • Karl’s unconventional journey from software developer to psychotherapist & life coach
  • How to stay positive & choose the right move after receiving redundancy
  • Reaching out for assistance, expressing your feelings & the importance of psychotherapy
  • The importance of surrounding yourself with the right people and moving away from toxic relationships
  • Going back to College to follow your passions and move into a new career
  • The importance of nutrition, exercise and lifestyle to creating a positive mindset
  • Perfect parenting and how the first 1,000 days are crucial for a child’s development
  • What Karl would say to his 18-year-old self
  • Awakening the Real You
  • Increasing your self-esteem & how to stop people pleasing and start saying NO

 

The One Takeaway

“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”Jim Rohn

I learned a lot from interviewing Karl. I admired Karl’s openness regarding his challenges with mental health and his experience attending therapy in Aspen Counselling. Karl is very comfortable being honest and open about himself and tells is how it is, I admire that trait it’s something up until recently I found challenging to express. Jim Rohn has a famous quote and I believe its the case 100% “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with”.

In Karl’s case the relationships he found himself on were having a negative impact on himself and others.Karl was overly concerned with the opinions of others and found himself saying yes when he really wanted really to say no. The result was his net worth was often at the mercy of other people’s opinions.

Karl found it hard to find freedom from the unhealthy relationships (and the emotions they triggered) and attending therapy allowed him to uncover these feelings and the reasons behind them. Therapy was an addictive experience for Karl and he found after completing his own journey he wanted to help others and was the catalyst for him changing profession to becoming a psychotherapist.

Karl has a clear vision of where he wants to go and its 100% authentic in wanting to change peoples lives for the better. Karl works as an application developer during the day, Psychotherapist by evening time, masters student and creates online personal development programs on building stronger relationships and finding inner freedom. Karl is on a journey to help people break out of toxic relationships, whether that is friendships or family members.

Only passion and a clear vision allow a person to do that. In saying that Karl is on a 10 day holiday in Thailand as I write this so he does practice self-care.

Karl cared too much what people thought about him and found himself saying yes to everything and people pleasing. Seeking the approval of others and was the ultimate people pleaser. The result was his net worth was at the mercy of other people’s opinions.

Karl found it hard to have meaningful relationships and attending therapy allowed him to uncover these feelings and the reasons behind them. Therapy was an addictive experience for Karl and he found after completing his own journey he wanted to help others and was the catalyst for him changing profession to becoming a psychotherapist.

I have learned from interviewing my guests for What I Know Now that we all have fears and impostor syndromes at some points in our lives. BUT what I have learned now more than ever it’s about doing it anyway, roll the dice. What’s the worse that can happen?

Being open and honest about the fears you have is very liberating.

I hope you enjoy the podcast. Feedback from people has been very positive so take some time this week to have a listen to what Karl has to say. The worlds a better place with people like Karl in it and I’m delighted through my podcast I got to meet up with him once again.

If the podcast helps one person with challenges with mental health then I will be a happy man.

Last thing I’m not sure if Karl remembered but he had sent me a Christmas card after I placed him. That Christmas card meant a lot to me, for some people that would be a small thing, for me it meant a huge deal as it through the next few months I would struggle with the recession and I was going to quit recruitment.

The only thing that kept me going was positive experiences encountered with candidates as I had very little jobs to work. Please do not underestimate the power that small deeds can have on a person.

The interview can be found here. Please let me know if you like it with a like.

If you liked this podcast check out my blog post What I Know Now The Power of Positive where I summarise what I learned from 3,000 positive entries in my journal over 3 years. It can be found here.

Take care,

Mark

 

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